Sixteen is my number. I was born, had my first date with my husband and married my husband on the 16th of the month. July 16th I got to see a very dear friend that I don't get to see very often. I'm so happy we got to spend two hours together that evening. She has written a blog ever since I've known her and she keeps her readers up to date much more than I ever have. She is one of the few people I told that I'm writing here again. She was one of the first people I told that I'm writing something that might be a book one day. She has recently entered the world of writing fiction and after catching up on what is new our main topic was writing.
She is co-authoring a novel with a friend of hers and she got some very good advice from her friend that she shared with me. "Outline the stories you want to tell. You don't have to outline the entire story at once. Write down what you want to include and that will lead you to the entirety of the story." At this point I have only written down the stories that have come to me and nothing more, totaling about 20 pages. I've been stuck on these 20 pages for months. I read blogs about writing to learn more about it and I've even attended a writing workshop with one of my favorite authors, Silas House, in order to learn the right way to approach writing. I've found there is no right way. Everyone has their own way.
During our conversation I explained to her my basic plot and where I wanted to take the story. Through talking to her and thinking about it afterward with everything I've learned so far I finally have my rough outline of events that move the story forward. Thank you so much dear, dear friend for helping me see the path on the sixteenth of July. It still is a special number.
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
The Wandering Muse
I have started five different topics over the last month and have only written a paragraph before coming to a complete stop with nothing more to say on the topic.
Last night I found back-to-back episodes of CMT Crossroads on Palladia. The first was Randy Travis and the Avett Brothers (which is fabulous if you haven't seen it) and the second was Sting and Vince Gill. I love them both. I've loved Sting since he was in The Police and I was a little girl that didn't understand the lyrics but loved the music. I have followed him throughout his solo career which has taken me to places, musically, that I never would have gone on my own. I love to see him perform and have done so at least four times if not more. I came to Vince Gill in the 90s when country music was forced on me and his music resonated with my rock music soul.
Last night they both talked about melancholy and how they both liked to write music in that world. I have always been drawn to the music of melancholy, and felt I lived my life there for many years. In those years I listened to Sting and Vince Gill and also Smashing Pumpkins which I chiefly associate with melancholy for obvious reasons. They got me through my 20s of intense longing and placed me at the feet of true love and the feeling of being made whole by being loved for being me.
In the conversation piece between songs Vince talked about "Whenever You Come Around" and how it was about Amy Grant. I'm sure it is common knowledge that when he met her they were both married to other people, and Josh commented on that. I replied that I'm sure that it happens often to people in the music profession, that someone comes along that sparks their muse and it can lead them down roads of of quiet longing and in some cases all the way to divorce to the person they are already married to. It lead me to write another solitary paragraph on that topic, and the idea swirled around while they sang that song, and then another. Perhaps these two are the spark for my muse and I need to pull their CDs off the shelf and get lost.
Last night I found back-to-back episodes of CMT Crossroads on Palladia. The first was Randy Travis and the Avett Brothers (which is fabulous if you haven't seen it) and the second was Sting and Vince Gill. I love them both. I've loved Sting since he was in The Police and I was a little girl that didn't understand the lyrics but loved the music. I have followed him throughout his solo career which has taken me to places, musically, that I never would have gone on my own. I love to see him perform and have done so at least four times if not more. I came to Vince Gill in the 90s when country music was forced on me and his music resonated with my rock music soul.
Last night they both talked about melancholy and how they both liked to write music in that world. I have always been drawn to the music of melancholy, and felt I lived my life there for many years. In those years I listened to Sting and Vince Gill and also Smashing Pumpkins which I chiefly associate with melancholy for obvious reasons. They got me through my 20s of intense longing and placed me at the feet of true love and the feeling of being made whole by being loved for being me.
In the conversation piece between songs Vince talked about "Whenever You Come Around" and how it was about Amy Grant. I'm sure it is common knowledge that when he met her they were both married to other people, and Josh commented on that. I replied that I'm sure that it happens often to people in the music profession, that someone comes along that sparks their muse and it can lead them down roads of of quiet longing and in some cases all the way to divorce to the person they are already married to. It lead me to write another solitary paragraph on that topic, and the idea swirled around while they sang that song, and then another. Perhaps these two are the spark for my muse and I need to pull their CDs off the shelf and get lost.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
An Anniversary
Nine years ago today I parked my car off Woodland Avenue and walked up the street to Ramsey's to meet Josh for the first time. He sat on the bench just outside the door. Butterflies struck me even though we had been talking first by email and then by phone for the previous two weeks.
We were seated at the top of the stairs to the left. We had a nice, though nervous, lunch. I noticed that he still tilted his head to the side; my memory of first seeing him when he was in 6th grade and I was in 8th grade coming back to me and that little boy lost in a sea of people heading to the gym to wait for the bus. But he stood out. Maybe he was supposed to on that day.
We tried to browse the shops in the triangle but since it was Sunday most were closed. We then moved to CD Central and learned more about each other's music tastes, which were quite different, but found common ground on liking to find new bands. I was on the rock side, he was on the alt country side, so we got to introduce each other to bands we each never would have found on our own.
We then moved to the arboretum and spent the remainder of our day there, walking around and finally ending up on a bench by the koi pond. We talked and talked and talked. We kept talking about music and the concerts we went to which was my main activity at that time. You could find me in a music club most every weekend, but never the same music club he was in. We talked about our families, friends, things we liked to do, and also religion. He actually agreed with me on religion. I knew this guy was special. Late in the day he kissed me and that was my last first kiss. May 16, 2004 my life changed and brought me everything I had been yearning for for so, so long. He is perfect for me.
We were seated at the top of the stairs to the left. We had a nice, though nervous, lunch. I noticed that he still tilted his head to the side; my memory of first seeing him when he was in 6th grade and I was in 8th grade coming back to me and that little boy lost in a sea of people heading to the gym to wait for the bus. But he stood out. Maybe he was supposed to on that day.
We tried to browse the shops in the triangle but since it was Sunday most were closed. We then moved to CD Central and learned more about each other's music tastes, which were quite different, but found common ground on liking to find new bands. I was on the rock side, he was on the alt country side, so we got to introduce each other to bands we each never would have found on our own.
We then moved to the arboretum and spent the remainder of our day there, walking around and finally ending up on a bench by the koi pond. We talked and talked and talked. We kept talking about music and the concerts we went to which was my main activity at that time. You could find me in a music club most every weekend, but never the same music club he was in. We talked about our families, friends, things we liked to do, and also religion. He actually agreed with me on religion. I knew this guy was special. Late in the day he kissed me and that was my last first kiss. May 16, 2004 my life changed and brought me everything I had been yearning for for so, so long. He is perfect for me.
Friday, May 03, 2013
Times Have Changed
I have just realized that the name of my blog sounds completely different today than it did in September 2004 when I started it. Anything with "shades of" in the title will now be thought of in the 50 Shades of Grey fold and I just happened to order my wording exactly the same back then. I am sorry to report that this blog has nothing to do with that book though I have read it.
It is possible that I may share some of my fiction writing here since that is where my head is right now but it has never crossed into an erotica realm, at least not yet; who knows where my stories will take me. My current fiction writing relies heavily on my past and I'm trying to find the balance of truth and fiction. My life in my 20s was very exciting to me, but I doubt a true memoir would hold the attention of anyone outside my friends. So, I'm trying to blend the two. Write what you know.
It is possible that I may share some of my fiction writing here since that is where my head is right now but it has never crossed into an erotica realm, at least not yet; who knows where my stories will take me. My current fiction writing relies heavily on my past and I'm trying to find the balance of truth and fiction. My life in my 20s was very exciting to me, but I doubt a true memoir would hold the attention of anyone outside my friends. So, I'm trying to blend the two. Write what you know.
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
A Hopeful Return
I am nearing 40 and I finally feel like I'm an adult. It has been nearly 6 years since I've posted here. Then I was a mere young adult in my early 30's, on the precipice of getting pregnant and making that journey into a more adult state. My daughter will be 5 soon. We have already registered her for kindergarten. Preschool graduation is in a matter of weeks. She is beyond excited by it all. She is smart, kind, loving, and quite the smart ass, as she should be given her parents, maternal grandparents, and paternal great-grandfather. I think she has an artist's soul, which could be troubling in the years ahead. She loves to draw, paint, sing, dance, and play any instrument she can get her hands on. She wants to be a mommy, pediatrician, songwriter, artist, and ballet teacher. It makes my heart overflow. She is perfect for us.
I have been in my job for 13 years. I am now in a management position and it is rewarding. I have fulfilled my promise of what I would become when I got my degree 15 years ago. But I still don't feel fully an adult with responsibility and power sometimes. I know I have more than I think I do, but at times I feel like I don't have any at all.
I believe this feeling of full adulthood is entirely to do with my involvement in my church. This past Sunday I led our choir. It has been 20 years since I directed a group of musicians, my high school pep band. It felt like I was stepping into a comfortable pair of shoes that I forgot I had. I had come full-circle to those days my freshman year when I started singing in choir. I enjoyed it. I have gladly taken on adult roles in church as well, starting with the committee to find a new pastor and then the big step to be on the session. Being on that committee and being an elder has helped me grow over the last two years. I feel like I'm looked at differently by those that have known me since I was a teenager. I feel that I have a special bond with the same people that were teenagers with me at that time that I now see at church, committee meetings, and session. It is a family.
I'm not sure what direction I'm going to take this blog in but I am moved to write more and this is the best way to do that.
I have been in my job for 13 years. I am now in a management position and it is rewarding. I have fulfilled my promise of what I would become when I got my degree 15 years ago. But I still don't feel fully an adult with responsibility and power sometimes. I know I have more than I think I do, but at times I feel like I don't have any at all.
I believe this feeling of full adulthood is entirely to do with my involvement in my church. This past Sunday I led our choir. It has been 20 years since I directed a group of musicians, my high school pep band. It felt like I was stepping into a comfortable pair of shoes that I forgot I had. I had come full-circle to those days my freshman year when I started singing in choir. I enjoyed it. I have gladly taken on adult roles in church as well, starting with the committee to find a new pastor and then the big step to be on the session. Being on that committee and being an elder has helped me grow over the last two years. I feel like I'm looked at differently by those that have known me since I was a teenager. I feel that I have a special bond with the same people that were teenagers with me at that time that I now see at church, committee meetings, and session. It is a family.
I'm not sure what direction I'm going to take this blog in but I am moved to write more and this is the best way to do that.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
My Nose in The Book
I finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at 10 minutes to midnight Sunday night (If you have not please stop now and come back when you have). I feel like I raced through the book so I have already started to give it another go, albeit a slower one this time. Overall, I was happy with the book. It tied up a lot of loose ends left dangling through the seven books. There are some detailed questions that I have but nothing on a grand scale was really left out. I have a mind to start over from the beginning and see the trail of breadcrumbs in their entirety while it is all so fresh.
Last week while dining with friends we were discussing theories about the end and my theory was: Harry is a horcrux so Harry has to die but I think he'll live in the end, at least I hope he does. This whole series dealing with good v. evil cannot end with evil prevailing. I was surprised to find out that my views were both right, not so contradictory as I had earlier believed. When Harry was walking into the forest, accepting it was time for him to die, I told myself that was it and shed some tears. I was pleasantly surprised when he was allowed to come back and was not surprised at all then how it ended, given the second chance.
I was a Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermoine shipper. They have both been foreshadowed for quite some time though I can understand the Harry/Hermoine shippers. I had to laugh at Harry & Ginny's child Albus Severus and figured that maybe James' middle was Sirius. I thought in the lot somewhere there had to be a child named after Fred, but if George had a son that would be an obvious choice above all others involved. And Draco's Scorpious, that was the biggest laugh of all.
I have not been happy with my favorite fan site, Mugglenet, not saying something about the book in print. They've let their readers do it, and reading a ton of comments saying a lot of the same thing has gotten tiresome. They have their, I'm sure, lovely podcast but as I only have dial up and no ipod (yes I'm frighteningly not tech savvy) I have no idea what was said. I've talked to one friend about it but no others. I know one hasn't even begun it yet. My husband put off reading with me the series over the winter and has barely began the first one (but has seen the movies) so he also doesn't want to know anything so I have to be silent at home too. If someone out there has read it, get a hold of me so we can talk. If you haven't read a page of the series, get thee to a library or bookstore!
Last week while dining with friends we were discussing theories about the end and my theory was: Harry is a horcrux so Harry has to die but I think he'll live in the end, at least I hope he does. This whole series dealing with good v. evil cannot end with evil prevailing. I was surprised to find out that my views were both right, not so contradictory as I had earlier believed. When Harry was walking into the forest, accepting it was time for him to die, I told myself that was it and shed some tears. I was pleasantly surprised when he was allowed to come back and was not surprised at all then how it ended, given the second chance.
I was a Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermoine shipper. They have both been foreshadowed for quite some time though I can understand the Harry/Hermoine shippers. I had to laugh at Harry & Ginny's child Albus Severus and figured that maybe James' middle was Sirius. I thought in the lot somewhere there had to be a child named after Fred, but if George had a son that would be an obvious choice above all others involved. And Draco's Scorpious, that was the biggest laugh of all.
I have not been happy with my favorite fan site, Mugglenet, not saying something about the book in print. They've let their readers do it, and reading a ton of comments saying a lot of the same thing has gotten tiresome. They have their, I'm sure, lovely podcast but as I only have dial up and no ipod (yes I'm frighteningly not tech savvy) I have no idea what was said. I've talked to one friend about it but no others. I know one hasn't even begun it yet. My husband put off reading with me the series over the winter and has barely began the first one (but has seen the movies) so he also doesn't want to know anything so I have to be silent at home too. If someone out there has read it, get a hold of me so we can talk. If you haven't read a page of the series, get thee to a library or bookstore!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
You Can't Have Too Many Friends
I finally removed my yearbooks from my parents house recently and came across my senior book. In it, I wrote about spending time with my group of friends in high school going to the drive-in among other teenage pursuits. It got me thinking about how I miss having a group of friends. I don't think I've had a group of friends since college. None of my friends really like each other, as far as I can tell. Luckily they got along at my wedding and all of its festivities. Then I saw April post about a girl's night out with a group of friends. If I wanted to have a girl's night out, who would I invite? My hometown friends who have never associated with each other and then be able to schedule a good night away from their kids? Probably not. My friends in Lexington? No, I doubt they'd want to hang out with each other. A mix of them all? Just the ones with no kids? Just the ones with kids...wait that scheduling would never work. I couldn't invite my sister at all, I think she only likes one of my friends.
I've been spending time with my friends, separately, for almost 10 years now. Some I see more than others, but with marriage I see all of them less, as I expected since I've seen it happen to each friend who has gotten married. Now I'm finally in the club and I see them even less. It saddens me. You need your girlfriends at every stage of life, and my girlfriends are at different stages in their life. I wish I could find a good mix of them to form a circle instead of lines shooting out in different directions.
I've been spending time with my friends, separately, for almost 10 years now. Some I see more than others, but with marriage I see all of them less, as I expected since I've seen it happen to each friend who has gotten married. Now I'm finally in the club and I see them even less. It saddens me. You need your girlfriends at every stage of life, and my girlfriends are at different stages in their life. I wish I could find a good mix of them to form a circle instead of lines shooting out in different directions.
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